Living The Christ - Sharings

Beyond reason and symbols there is love

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I don't want to repress myself, I want to be honest. Hidden agendas, manipulation, repression, articulation in order to get something. These tactics are inauthentic, and inauthenticity is fear.

I see how many experiences are available to me, all of them for me to see. I still get pissed when I want to change the world, when I want to change my brother, when I have to change myself. I use reason to justify my anger, that 'other' that I try to change is also a thought that comes from me, I am the Son of God, I've been projecting but I have no location and no time, when I remember my identity and feel the love of God in me, all symbols are laid down, all shadows are forgiven, only presence is experienced, and the calming and extending realization that I am One with everything.

I have been mislead by reason, I have used reason to attack myself, I have used reason to defend myself against the truth. The real reason is truth and love, and is far beyond all symbols, meanings, books, idols, and any agreement of the world.

Father I give myself to you, let me live your Glory, recognize my own, see what I left behind, and see the world I perceive now as the hallway of Heaven.

I've forgotten than 'no' just means 'no', at that moment in time.

I've given to 'no' all the meaning it had for me.

I've made-up meanings out of not knowing; isolated events and given interpretation.

No for me meant rejection, I'm not loved, and I've struggled with that, resisted and persisted. That's a story I've made-up, that's based on the past.

I'm upset because I see only the past. I can't see things as they are now.

Truth is that I am free

Now

Let peace take its place



Sometimes I wish that none would reach and read this blog, some other times things come from spirit, pure in-spiration, and I know it must be shared, it doesn't belong to me or a private mind, when it comes from love it belongs to the whole.

I've found the benefits of expressing myself in spirit, I can recognize when I speak out of ego; when my intention is domination, looking good-bad, hatred, envy, being superior/ being inferior, in need and manipulating. Or when I speak without a programmed intention, from spirit, in spirit, with compassion, in light. The intention of everything is available to me to look at, at every moment, I can turn to the holy spirit to ask and to follow. His joy is permanently associated with mine, the spirit is in me, the baby Jesus is my self.

I'm finding clear to notice that I am holy, that the thought is singular, that God is singular, that I am love and power, that everytime I suffer I've denied myself. I'm starting to have the flavor that beyond the images of a disturbed world there's peace, safety, a state of mind that I know as home. I'm starting to see the basis of the dream, its real intention, how they are made, who I really am. Then, by knowing who I am, what is made-up, understanding comes and fear pass by, I feel total, and I can embrace what is real.

Let the image go .. Is just an image.
Let the thoughts pass by, all are passing thoughts
You make them ...
And is far beyond them all



These are the lessons the holy spirit is bringing to me so strongly the last 1-2 days, all I remember, all I see, all I read is about that. The attachment to things in time, the trying to make illusions real, the sleeping mind, were the source of all my suffering.

I use the past sentence, because I know time has passed by, when I'm finished writing this sentence it will be past, when I stop to read it again is past.

Holy Spirit I hear you, I feel your presence, I see your signs, and I'm so thankful to you.

The time for redemption is always!



Oh Christ how serious and uptight I became, how much reality I have given to the world, to scars, to loss, how much density and reality I have given to my mistakes.

I found that when I choose to hide my mistakes from the light was due to the fact that I feared punishment, love. I thought love had a condition to love, I thought that love had a condition to forgive, I thought love could be partial, I thought love could sometimes be cruel and punish. I was cruel with myself, that's what I thought I should be, I didn't bring my darkness to the light thinking I could be punished, and by doing so I punished myself, I didn't see that I am the Christ, that I am presence, that I am mind only mind, that I am love only love, anything anytime aside from that is a dream :)

There is a peace and comfort so outside of this world available to me, I experienced it yesterday with someone, the bodies were there but the mind, the heart, the self, the love was absolutely one, in that experience there was no other, and love and light and peace and compassion and gentleness was all there was.

How awesome! How unconditional love and forgiveness are, how easy they become when I let of go my "ifs", "what-ifs" and/or any other condition and limitation upon myself.

I'm love!
I'm here to forgive!
I'm here to give!
I'm here to extend Heaven!
I'm here to live the Oneness that I am!
I'm here to remember!
I'm here to play!

The Peace of God is all I want?



I am everyday more mesmerized with the synchronicity of my experiences and the correspondent lessons in ACIM, as if the voice in ACIM knew exactly what I thought, or what I experienced the day before, in practical terms it gives me comfort; it makes me see there is something, some other intelligence, some other mind, which is my own, which is dreaming, and I was not aware.

Today as I read the text the voice touched the most revealing aspect of my journey, and definitely the one which I find my biggest barrier; perfect peace. I must want peace, and mean it to have it. And Jesus is so real when he says that, one thing that he mentioned that I fully connect is that peace is joining other minds, not trying to isolate myself, isolation is an illusion, so must be the findings, so peace is a decision to join too. I remember when I used to smoke I wanted to get away, disconnect from the world, dream and live in a world apart, and then control the other world. I was not in peace.

Something that goes deeper that I fully recognize is the will for peace; that means I must disinvest in having or finding Heaven in things I am only asking to deceive myself. I thought happiness would be great sex and having someone sensational on my side, the sex body-thing is like a toy, the someone sensational is but another way of showing-off a trophy, of saying "Hey everyone, look what I got! Isn't this person cool? See how cool and sensational am I?". How can these values, these dreams, these wishes offer anything I want? Isn't is a game? An idea of unworthiness, lack that I'm trying to hide? And hide from who?

The perfect job-status is also says the same, I fully recognize that I have abilities that I must share with my brother-self, and that doesn't necessarily mean through a status-job-career, I am fully determined to let the Holy Spirit guide me in this regard. I also see the there's no "sin", nothing good or bad at all in having a job, in making money, in having sex, in sharing romantic moments, what gets complicated is when I sabotage myself thinking they will give me the peace, the happiness, the joy and the perfect comfort I want. That only my home can give me. This home is what my Father Is, where my brother and I find our self. And that is the only thing I really want.

Such a beautiful day today, there's snow everywhere in NYC, the city is all white, I'm going for brunch with my friend Tim, and I'm so happy ...

I want this new frequency, my very own, the fresh revealing presence of the holy spirit living, it is a sensation, vibration, experience, understanding, vision.

I start the day with a prayer my brother Jesus taught me :) Jesus I love you so much, I know I love you as I love my self ... Thank you! :)

Father, our Name is Yours. In It we are united with all living things, and You Who are their one Creator. What we made and call by many different names is but a shadow we have tried to cast across Your Own reality. And we are glad and thankful we were wrong. All our mistakes we give to You, that we may be absolved from all effects our errors seemed to have. And we accept the truth You give, in place of every one of them. Your Name is our salvation and escape from what we made. Your Name unites us in the oneness which is our inheritance and peace. Amen.

"I have and I share One identity"


My life time is a story, like everything else, like everything I've heard, everything I've seen and said. I remember the life time, the moments I lost track of my self, I remember the moments I didn't know who I was, I remember the moments I felt insecure, I remember the moments I felt isolated, I remember the moments I saw myself little, I remember the moments I needed approval, I remember the moments I needed acceptance, I remember the moments I felt guilty, a failure, and I needed somebody to tell me I wasn't.

These are but memories, I know, did they happen? do they have an impact on me? It all depends on how I see myself, it depends on my identity. I wasted time in dreams, thinking that my identity could be different, in seeing differences there were only differences, comparisons, isolations, better and worse, competitions, and no matter how much I tried to find myself better I could not escape the judgment I was imposing on myself because I was judging everything.

I have one identity, which I share with God, the Father and the Son have one identity, my brothers in form share one identity with me, I hear sounds, the sounds come from me, they are my sounds, I see things, the seeing comes from me, they are my seeings, there's no GAP, I have a mind, this mind comes from me, my mind is the Mind of God!

All sickness, all madness, all discomfort, all judgment, all lack, all confusion, all pain, all suffering, came but from the belief that I was what I'm not.

Thank you Father, I'm your Son and I have your name. I share it with everyone, who has the same name.

The end of fear

Once I read a statement in a Course In Miracles that got stuck in my mind, it said "the only purpose of the world is to set you free", later another sentence caught my attention "to be free is to see that there is no meaning in the world".

I looked within and saw that I still considered life on Earth as life, thus physical death a reality, thus the physical world a reality, thus separation a reality, thus God's cruelty a reality, thus danger and complexity a reality.

I then remembered what Eckhart Tolle claimed in the 'Power of Now' as the source of all mess; "the fear of death". And how free he was when he realized that there is no real substance in death, that there's no death, that what I see is a projection, that projection is not only 'feeling', is the whole package!

Freedom is my course too, my goal, my deepest desire, I'm embracing my release with all my heart, I want the light of Heaven to shine on me, I want my brothers to recognize their home, their safety. I want to fulfill my part.

Today Father, I ask and let the baby Christ be born in me!
Live Christ! Come live in me! :)

Home, that's all I want, that's all I am.

It is interesting to see how alien I have been to myself, how many attempts I have made to find some satisfaction in the world:

The satisfaction by dating someone special that would give me something I don't have.
The satisfaction by having a great job which would give me a great pay and great status, that could actually 'make me' 'someone'.
The satisfaction of looking good, of having a great body, of being appreciated by others, admired by others, loved by others.

All these things without exceptions are icons I've made, and I've been imprisoned by them, the need for these icons do come from an idea of lack, an idea of danger, an idea of guilt, an idea that I can be something other than love, separate and distinct from love.

I was coming to the office and then I realized that I am the ruler of my mind, none can see - think - experience anything for me, however, many times I was not aware that my mind was the mind of God, I didn't know that I had the wheels, I could talk about it but I could not see that I was the ruler.

For the moments I was lost I often thought that I was a victim of something, that actually something could happen in opposition to my will, that being sad was opposite to my will, that being anxious was opposite to my will, that 'being' insecure was opposite to my will, that being erratic was opposite to my will, that being at war was opposite to my will.

In summary; the idea of powerlessness remained in my mind, as a ghost haunting me.

Why? I know by fact that I lost power by finding myself guilty, by finding my self little, a body, vain, small, victim ... I could be anything BUT eternal power and eternal love.

Now I see that I elect my thoughts, now I see that my experiences, my seeing, my hearing, my speaking, my touching, all my perceptions are my thoughts, and that I have made them all. There is a door right in between all these passing thoughts, and in this door is my home, and because it is the only thing that doesn't pass by, that is eternal, all love, all peace, all power, all heaven. That is where I live, what sustains me, what I am.

God Bless my self, all my brothers, all living beings, that in this door I see are myself, One with me.

Today is a day of silence and stillness
A day of comtemplation and understanding
A day of communication
in silence

A day of realization
Of the moment
The eternal instant
of which
I
and
The Universe
is Free

I had no idea
Of how much love my Father has for me
And that his love is Real

Today is Martin Lurther King's day and I remind myself of determination, dreamers know they are dreaming, they ask and receive. People like MLT, Jesus, Gandhi, Mandella are great inspiration for me because they show me that whatever we want and give ourselves, we achieve. This life is not as solid as I see, people are not made of concrete or bones and water, all things are thought, and all thought is light.

So here I am, with a whole bunch of possibilities, with all the healing capacity in the Universe available to me and sometimes I struggle, sometimes I limit myself, sometimes I insist on attributing value where there's no none, I can't beat myself for my wrong choices because there was a voice telling me that there was a gain in those choices, all I need to do is realize that that voice was wrong, and elect it not as my guide.

I read a couple of days ago an article that said "ask", God is absolute giving and we forget to ask. So I'm tuning in and asking to be, to live, the possibility that I stand for in this dream:

- Innocence
- Release
- Expansion
- Constant joy
- Play and aliveness

Father, my will is yours, and your will is the only will.

Being authentic is being truthful, and truth is freedom.

It captivates power to put down words that I try to hide from myself, I know I'm not the only one who reads this posting but I always remind myself that I'm writing here as a self teaching device, I'm teaching myself, convincing myself, telling myself, seeing my own blind spots to bring them to the light. And I don't compromise my honesty in anything I write, otherwise there's no purpose.

I was turned down yesterday, I made a joke and the boss made another joke about me that I didn't like, I told him that I recognized him being a friendly and open boss but I requested him to never refer to me ever with that name again, and that I took that joke as an insult.

Somehow, somewhere I know these jokes will disappear because I won't create space for them or if something comes up for whatever reason it won't affect me anymore, but in any case I can't repress myself, I give myself free expression, repression of any kind is not of Christ, I'm finally recognizing that.

I also found that, being down, or beating myself up, is being inauthentic, is striving with illusions. For example the moment my boss made an unfortunate joke I associated the joke from something in the past, and I was down, and I judged myself, surely none likes when someone is stupid, but what stuck me was indeed an association from the past, I was finding that 'I was that'. ACIM says so clearly that when something annoys me from another, in whatever form, is because I'm finding that 'qualification' real in me.

I'm finally looking at it with clarity, and the light comes, and I'm free from it. There were other situations yesterday that I judged myself, and judgment is inauthentic, is unreal, is a story I made up from the past, an interpretation of events that I made up, from the past. They are ALL unreal. So if I'm authentic I won't judge, I won't crucify the Christ. My brother is my reflection, I am his reflection. I am the Son my Father Loves.

Thank you Father!

"God is but love, life is but love, and therefore so am I"

This morning I saw the ego working, Juan reports to me and decided to have a discussion without including me with my boss, obviously there is "an agreement" when it comes down to hierarchy, but I noticed that my sense of discomfort was mostly due to the idea that I was loosing space, or loosing domain, and what the heck! Juan just wanted to know something, be close to my boss, so what?

The ego is crazy. I'm learning to be aware of these situations, not fight or resist them, be aware and notice how unreal and inauthentic are the ego laws based on, and where it looks for gain and/or protection.

The idea of 'having to dominate' or 'having to control' are ideas based on fear of loosing something, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of bodies, inauthentic fear. After all, who is out there that I am defending myself against or trying to control? When I choose th ego to be my guide I'm choosing to be unhappy, worried and/or victimized.

I heard something yesterday that I had almost forgot; bodies are empty space, so I MAKE THE IMAGINARY lines, who else? What else?

I'm finding funny to see nations for what they are, nations are imaginary lines, someone says "there is a line here, this is US and over there is Canada", imaginary lines can only be draw by fear.

I am at home, the imaginary line, fear, is the stranger here.

I am an effect of Life, I am life, forever.

Yesterday I had an amazing experience at a meditation class at CRS, I simply let it go, let it happen, I let the holy spirit take me, suddenly I was in a whole different vibration, I had a difficult time returning after such embrace from God.

I've struggled for no reason trying to connect with my source, I tried to control or push my self to an experience which is part of me, all I really need is let it happen. The Holy Spirit is gentle and all power.

The first time I saw and listened to a teacher of a Course in Miracles she asked a question to the audience; "What is a Course in Miracles?". Many comments were; "mind training" some others said, "undoing", the teacher looked at the audience and said "see, this is a course in miracles" then she closed her eyes, opened her arms and said "Father!" she smiled ...

This is it! Direct communication, total release! The Will of God is the only will, and there is nothing else. I must remind myself that every time I'm in doubt, uncertain, or lost ALL I have to do is turn to him, accept his power, his guidance, his peace, which is my own!

Ahh ... how good I feel today! I woke up this morning a bit late, not too late but late, I was out of integrity, nevertheless I remembered "I am from out of time, I am free to make this moment Heaven, I am free to let the future unfold". An amazing well being sensation, peace and satisfaction took over me, I woke from home to the subway realizing I am dreaming; so is everyone else, when I step in Heaven, fully so will everyone else, in truth there is "no everyone else"! because I AM ONE WITH EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!

Thank you!

Choosing Reality

These times have been very interesting for me, first signs I know as revelations, signs that show me that I am dreaming, a contact with God, or myself from out of time and space. This experience was fantastic because for the first time I knew God, that there is indeed the all knowing, the all present, the all life, the all time, and that God is not outside of me, God is not a stranger to myself, even not accepting and being aware of Him, God/love/life sustains me.

I know now that these experiences have been giving me all the support and confidence I've asked to lead my life in peace, a different certainty, and satisfaction. I have been much more confident about life and myself because of my recent experiences, I am sure now.

Relationships are coming, people are getting closer to my life and I feel that I am attracting more people. I know now that confidence and self esteem and defenseless are charming and that attracts people, the most interesting is finding out that many times others are attracted for values they perceive they lack in themselves, they may even think I may complete the lack, I can't be tempted to let they think that, or be tempted to think that way myself.

Love for instance, why should I seek love outside of myself, shouldn't love be everywhere? Why should I limit my love to one person? I know I say these things to myself and I still feel pulled to a special love relationship, but I know just by seeing that this type of relationship is based on lack, and I choose it not. I choose freedom and complete love, that must be true, there must be God.

Father, help me, liberation and love ever present and extending is my reality and your reality, help me recognize it Father, and live it. The Christ, the real spirit of love is my real friend.

The only thing that completes me is ALL my brothers, God, the totality of my self.

Waking up free. I am as God created me.

I have struggled with waking up in the morning, as much as I don't want I wake up and the mind kicks off, wandering and thinking. Funny it really seems that I have a big computer machine alien to my order planted in me. I thought I'd rather stay in bed and sleep simply to relax and avoid the consuming excessive thinking. In reality I found that what I was doing was avoiding life, avoid being awake and avoiding facing my barriers.

I made a promise to arrive at work early, I was doing pretty well but last week I returned to the same old pattern; late and lazy to wake up. That annoyed me and put me down, I had that depressive taste of failure, the 'looser' thing.

Today I woke-up on time and was early at work, that definitely made me feel good, I still want to wake-up earlier and work out in the morning, give the body a healthy schedule, experience vitality!

Yesterday was my last day at Landmark, I'm grateful to the lesson I learned with breakdowns, or the gap between the desired state and the persisting state, I was beating myself for having arrived at work late but I forgot that my mind was stuck thinking only the past, and that I am free each moment to renew my possibility and take action when needed, for instance; I go to bed earlier to wake earlier, I meditate in the morning to keep my mind fresh, etc. All these choices are available to me at all time, there's nothing holding me back.

Today when I woke up I remembered my lesson 'I am as God created me'. Wow! What a fuel of freedom and joy when I can truly recognize that, in truth I am from out of time, I can always and every moment make a new choice, let go of the past and old patterns, set up a whole new idea and thought. This morning when I was in the shower I was reminding my self "In this instant I am free", "In this instant I recognize that I am pure and absolute life", "In this instant I recognize that I am perfect, as God created me". God created me as "out of time" so I must recognize that, in me, and in my brother.

Me 

"The power of decision is my own"

The first time I read the above in A Course in Miracles I recognized what it meant. For many years I lived a life with no power, I thought, thus experienced, that I was slave to my own attack thoughts, that there was nothing I could do. I could seek help outside of me to comfort my misery, but I could not heal myself, I could not make a choice, a new stand, elect a new thought, see the world differently, live in a state of joy, release and happiness.

I realized that all was but my choice; the feelings I had, the thoughts I thought, the experiences I had, all were but perceptions I made and the meanings that I gave, and the best of all, since I made them, I could shift them all.

I needed help anyway, I needed my right mind. By studying A Course In Miracles, I asked, by for-giving I changed and saw I new, by giving I received.

The daily sharings proposal is to extend my experiences, my views of life and results, I don't find them private, so they are public, and I'm honest about them all.

I expose my self totally, thus I let go of the fear and judgment I made. I share what and who I am as I know we are all One in Spirit.

I love you, God.
And I love your Son.